Well, something I haven't yet shared is my husband and my desire to have a child. We have been avidly trying for about six months, and just hoping prior to that - that makes 1.5 years since we've been married. And nada. Zilch. Nothing but annoyance and heartache. And every month is more disappointment piled on top of an already mounting pile of grief. I try to be patient, I try to tell myself it's all a part of God's plan. He DOES know best, He really does. But it's just so darn hard, you know. It's difficult when my plan is not what His plan is. I'm at the point that I don't even want to try any more because I hate facing failure.
Andrew and I have talked about adoption, and I am totally open to it. In fact, I want to adopt even if we do have our own kids. I think what's holding me back is the cost. Yes, I know it also costs money to give birth, but I do have stellar insurance. It's the upfront cost of adoption that worries me. But maybe that IS where God is leading us. Pray that I can open my heart to HIS will.
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