According to the Court Order, Andrew is supposed to get his son EW (every weekend); however, twice now Trevor has tried to avoid punishment by refusing to come to our house. The excuses run from riding his bike to going to a truck show with his mom to working with his grandma to hanging out with his girlfriend's relatives to the claim that I am out to get him. The truth is, he has chosen to spend four months away from his own father because he doesn't want to be grounded for two weekends for calling me a "f---ing b----" and threatening to sick his mother on me. This happened last summer, too. I honestly can't remember the exact reason he was grounded, something about him saying horrible things to me about my cooking and refusing to obey his dad. Last time it was a twelve-week avoidance, but he finally realized his dad wouldn't cave. This time it's longer, and a bit harder.
Andrew and I struggle with how to cope. Andrew feels anger toward Trevor when he threatens me (happens frequently) and regret when he hasn't seen his own son for months. I feel guilt for coming between them. Andrew is about ready to give up, to wash his hands of it. But I know that's not what he wants, not deep down in side. It is so hard to see the pain in his face, knowing the hurt that Trevor is causing. Though I realize I am not perfect and Christ is still working on me, I understand that I am not responsible for Trevor's choices, but nonetheless I feel horrible for being the catalyst.
Though Trevor hasn't been physically around for months, his negativity is always present, whether through the few phone conversations each week that Andrew has with him or from the residue of misery that he leaves in his wake. Without fail every couple of weeks Trevor calls to badmouth me, to rant about my "control" or to demand that I leave the house when he comes on the weekends, and it never fails to amaze me he STILL feels this resentment toward me after no contact with me since January. Of course, it's not completely unfounded, as I still feel resentment toward him... the difference is, I don't act on it and I try to work through my emotions without hurting him, his dad, or his mom.
And Andrew has been so strong through it all. So supportive of me. I just don't know how to be the same in return. How do I comfort my husband when I have played a role is his sadness? Andrew doesn't blame me at all, but it's my fear that he will one day. I just have to keep trusting that God will take this from us.
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